The Purpose

So yesterday I gave a little background info about myself, but I didn't really give my reasoning for writing this blog. Over the last couple of months I have been growing more and more annoyed with my lack of commitment to God. It seems that I wake up with good intentions everyday, but when I lay down to sleep at night those intentions are still just intentions. I feel that God wants more from us than just a small prayer and a quick bible study! Paul wrote to live is Christ. Think about how powerful that statement is. As I was mopping my kitchen floor yesterday I was thinking about how little I tend to do around the house in general. My husband is, well....we'll say passionate about keeping a clean home. He will work an 11 hour day and still clean the house as soon as he walks through the front door. He says he can't relax until he knows it's clean. This often annoys me as it gets in the way of things I want him to do. HA! See there! There's that selfish nature again...grrr! Anyway, as I was thinking of my poor husband's apparent addition to tidiness a thought came to me. How can I claim to serve God when I am still too proud to serve my husband, children, community, and so on? Now, I know that serving one's husband isn't always the most popular idea, but it IS the way God intended. Women are not to be the head of the household, HOWEVER the man is to love his wife as Jesus loves the church. Jesus loved the church so much that he gave all of himself to it....even His life! How easy would it be to submit to a man that you knew loved you that much and his every action was to your families benefit?! A man who desires your company and appreciates your thoughts! OK....whew, sorry for the passionate outburst! Getting back to the point. Each of us are called to be a witness and I think the best way to be one is to serve God and serve others. This is the only way, in my mind, to completely free yourself of that stubborn selfish nature that continually tries to consume your attention. People are hurting and we are too caught up in ourselves to notice! So, finally, my hope is that this blog will be a daily reminder to myself to focus more on God and His heart for others and less on my own desires.

My Story

As this year concludes, I look back at all the changes that have taken place. God has revealed a lot to me over these last 12 months and though I am forever greatful, I am in need for more! At the beginning of this year I was on my way (or so I thought) to getting a promotion and a big fat raise. As a manager I often complained about the stress and the hours, but I was addicted to the power of being in control. I loved the competition of sales and the thrill of a job well done! Now I'm not saying those things are bad, but I was consumed by them. I would come home exhausted every night and zone out in front of the TV ignoring my family. I would get annoyed at the smallest requests and snap in an instant. Deep down I knew that this wasn't the life God had called me for. I knew He wanted more from me than just a 5 minute prayer everynight. I knew that I wasn't being the kind of mother I so desperatly wanted my kids to have. Slowly, God started to convict my heart. I begin feeling anxious at work. In fact, I started to loathe my job! The things that were so fullfilling were starting to feel so empty. I knew God was nudging me, but it took an accidental step and seemingly broken foot for me to acknowledge it. I was helping my mother move in April when I stepped off her porch and my foot slipped between two cement stepping stones. My foot started swelling instantly and turned blue. At this moment, I was so upset and tired of the way life was going that I promised God if He would keep my foot from being broken, I would quit my job. I really thought it was broken. I even asked a couple of the nurses at the hospital and they assured me it looked as if it was. By the time I was getting registered my husband had arrived. As I was telling him of the promise I had made, the lady registering me seemed amused. As he rolled me away, she urged me not to forget my promise. Well, turns out it wasn't broken. Whether or not He healed me I can't say, but He sure made it look like it was broken! So, as promised, in August I left my job to work in a school cafeteria. Yep, I'm now a lunch lady....and lovin' it!