My Testimony

I am entering a gospel music talent show in which I was asked to give my testimony. I. am. stumped.

I feel like I have so much to be thankful of...to be praising for! He has done so much for my little life that I don't deserve. He has saved me. So many times has He saved me! So many times I have crossed the line. So many times I have walked away. I wonder sometimes about the pain I have caused Him. The pain we all cause Him when we shove Him aside. But He is faithful. His love is true. All those times I thought I had fallen away, He came rushing after me.

He has saved my life.

I joke with my mom sometimes about how I must have a pretty big purpose for Him to intervene as much as He has. I have had two risky pregnancies, three scary car wrecks, and one super scary anafilactic shock. In every one of these situations, I have been able to call on Him and see His hand on me. He has taught me so much about faith.

He has healed me.

From big scary things to small everyday things. If it bothers me, I ask for healing. I think skin cancer was the scariest. I was assured by my dermatologist that a spot on my back looked like cancer. I wasn't afraid because I had already prayed over that spot and been assured by God that it wasn't. Test results were in His favor...imagine that! I have had some heart issues over the years as well. I have pleurisy, always have. If I lay a certain way or take a deep breath while bending over I get a sharp pain when I try to breathe. The last few years though I have had problems with my heart racing and fluttering. The last time I went to the doctor because of this was on my son's birthday. My heart had been racing for two days. The doctor was going to have me admitted to the hospital for observation. When he left the room, I prayed and pleaded the blood of Jesus over my heart. When he came back a few minutes later to check me again, my heart had slowed down enough for him to let me go home. I haven't had any issues with my heart or pleurisy since. There are many more instances I could include; back problems, joint pain, even a broken foot. I know that God has intervened many times in my life as well as those around me.

He answers my prayers.

There is no way I could list all the prayers of mine that He has answered. I believe He answers every one. There is power in speaking the Word over people's lives. I have seen hearts change because of prayer...mine own included. I have witnessed the attacks of demons, in my life and the lives of my family, being halted because of prayer. I have seen the impossible become possible, because of prayer.


So you see, I don't have a 'testimony'. My LIFE is a testimony. Because of these things, I can give my life over to God and know that He has me. I know that He will protect and keep me. Even when bad things happen, even if it would take my life, I know that God is faithful and true. I know Him and He knows me....that's all the testimony one needs.

Busy, Busy!

Sometimes, I feel like I don't even get the chance to fully participate in life. I can't even focus! I forget that life isn't about accomplishments brought on by my own ambitions. I forget that I have a bigger calling on my life than making sure the house is kept tidy. Sometimes, I get lost in the shallow end of life.

Things have been moving in fast forward these last few weeks and I am in need of a time-out! I have spoken before of my need to have ALONE time to meditate on God and just feel His presence...oh such joy is in His presence! I need to 'be still'...Psalm 46:10.

You would think as many times as He has shown me that I can't be who He's called me to be without spending that time with Him, that I would know to let everything else go. I tell you, I think there is a spirit of distraction who's goal it is to make Jesus' followers TOO BUSY to follow! Let me prove it...just in the short amount of time it has taken me to write this paragraph so far, my 6 year old has come in here 4 times to ask me something completely random :)

The older I get, the more I realize how quickly time slips away. Being that I was born a procrastinator...so it seems...I am horrible at putting things off. I give myself excuses as to why I didn't do in a given day what I had wanted to. I was tired...I didn't feel well...I just didn't think about it....UGHHH. This is still selfishness. I hope to one day be past this stage.  I hope to be like the man that built his house on the rock instead of the sand...Matthew 7:24-27. God has been so merciful to me by showing me my 'faults' (SINS!). He has so lovingly reproved me and given me a new perspective/heart/LIFE.

In this slight despair that I am feeling, I am reminded just how faithful God is to His children. We forsake Him for the the smallest things, but He will never forsake us. We deny him as Peter did...though maybe not by our words, but by our actions.

 I am in awe as I think about a God so loving that He would see my wavering heart and be moved by it. Who am I that He would send even the smallest of angels, much more His son, for my sake. He is worthy to be praised.